Swearing Under the Cross

Swearing Under the Cross RFT Music Stories 71
Swearing Under the Cross
My last performance with the Santa Cruz Chamber Orchestra was a glorious and damning affair. We were playing a concert with the Santa Cruz Community Chorus—a cantata, a mass, and one solo orchestra number, I believe it was a concerto grosso by some obscure Italian baroque composer. I was just supposed to do the side-man thing, playing principal viola—no conducting involved.
However, the conductor became suddenly stricken with an attack of gall stones, and I was asked at the very last minute to step in and conduct the concerto. I was to have one 20-minute run-through with the orchestra, that was all the rehearsal I got. Nervous about sight-reading, I nevertheless rose to the occasion and began the run-through.
We were all set up in this big Methodist Church, an appropriate setting for the religious music we were presenting. We had just finished our run-through of the long choral pieces, and we were tired to be sure; but the orchestra was unusually lame on the concerto, probably because the piece had not been very well prepared by the horrible conductor I was replacing.
I was feeling the pressure of time, and when the orchestra and made several screw-ups in a row, I blew up. At the top of my lungs I shouted, "I throw cue to the french horn—nothing happens, I throw cue to the oboe— nothing happens, where the hell are you people, Mars? I'm sight-reading this piece, and I'm playing it better than you are! From now on when I point at one of you, PLAY SOMETHING!" There were a few G--D---s thrown into this speech for seasoning.
To fully appreciate the scene you must remember that we're surrounded by about 80 choir members who are quietly leaving the auditorium, church members all, and I'm standing directly underneath a cross. So, when the rucus begins, this large bevy of three-bean-salad matrons all turn to witness some madman screaming angry swear words underneath the cross of their lord and savior. Interesting.
Well, the performance that night was electric. The orchestra was terrified of what I might do, so I had their complete attention. My movement was quite inspired that night too, and I really acted out the piece with high drama. At one point I had to climb off the podium to waive my stick in the face of a delinquent cello, but other than that it was very clean, very high class, and very, very high energy.
The audience went wild! They gave me five call-backs. To be called back to the stage once during the applause is fairly standard, twice is pretty

Swearing Under the Cross RFT Music Stories 72
good, but five times is unheard-of. It is a sign that something extraordinary has happened. Backstage the choral conductor was pumping my hand, and saying, "Richard, you're incredible!" Even the orchestra showed signs of being pleased with their performance.
But they never forgot the swearing under the cross, and I never conducted another Santa Cruz Chamber Orchestra Concert. 

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